Pure Comedy

As a Charlatan, you are often privy to personal conversations. Well today, I had the most amusing conversation with one of my good friends about a certain female he knows. He summarized their earlier conversation and it went something like this:

Him: So how have you been?
Her: Fine, but I think I have depression. I've read this book and I have all the signs.
Him: Oh, well have you been to the doctor? After all, you're a lawyer.
Her: No, but I also have this condition where lack of sunshine causes a chemical imbalance.
Him: Umm, okay, so what are you going to do?
Her: Well, I have to buy this lamp that will replace the missing sunshine.
***Let's take a break here, how can anyone MISS sunshine, but I digress! LOL
Him: Umm, okay - and how much does that cost?
Her: about $300 a piece.

**** This is when I lost it. I couldn't take anymore - PURE COMEDY! Ma'am, are you sure it's the lack of sunshine that is causing the chemical imbalance? You, lady, and the self-diagnosis are UNSAVORY!

Part two---What does this UNSAVORY foolishness actually mean? I know there had to be a better way to word this statement.

"He has been consistently recruiting 500 executives, managers and technical professionals annually."

Who Knew?

If you are like the Unsavory Charlatans, you know plenty of people who work in some capacity for the Federal government. Well, imagine our suprise when we learned that for years, our friends and colleagues have been celebrating the WRONG holiday in February. For years, we have all enjoyed the "Presidents' Day Holiday" or the "Presidents' Day" sales, etc, and so on.
http://www.pocketdeal.com/deal-Macy's-President's-Day-Sale%5E7258.aspx

Yep, you've guessed it - FOR YEARS, YOU HAVE BEEN WRONG. Now the Unsavory Charlatans are left wondering - who's on first? According to the U.S. Code and the Office of Personnel Management in Washington, DC. The holiday was and still remains - George Washington's Birthday. You can now consider yourself informed. Stop indulging in those President's Day Sales and go chop down a cherry tree, for good ole' George!

http://www.opm.gov/Operating_Status_Schedules/fedhol/2009.asp

Monday, February 16* Washington’s Birthday

http://www.law.cornell.edu/uscode/5/6103.shtml
(a) The following are legal public holidays:
New Year’s Day, January 1.
Birthday of Martin Luther King, Jr., the third Monday in January.
Washington’s Birthday, the third Monday in February.

We don't make this stuff up

Saturn is missing some of its inhabitants. You can't make this stuff up! I wonder what gave away that this idea could be a PROBLEM!

Lingerie Bowl Canceled Over Nakedness

The Boss' halftime show is safe. Lingerie Bowl VI has been canceled because of a dispute between the organizers and the nudist colony that was going to host the event. The game, which was supposed to air as a pay-per-view event during halftime of the Super Bowl, was sure to siphon off dozens of fans from the game. But the nudist colony wouldn't promise that its fans wouldn't show up in the buff, so the organizers called off the game.

LOL! You gotta love the Superbowl.

The explanation for the cancellation doesn't make a whole lot of sense, and seems to indicate that the Lingerie Bowl was headed for financial disaster. The game had struggled to find a place to play, and the players had not been happy about playing at a nudist resort.Because of all that, the "league" said it had no choice but to call it quits.

"The league will not place our fans, players, staff nor partners in a less-than-comfortable environment that would ultimately jeopardize the mainstream perception and reputation of the brand that so many have worked diligently over these past five years to build," the league's Stephon McMillen said. So yes, the organizers of a football game played by women in bras and panties were worried that the integrity and wholesome family atmosphere of their game would be ruined by having naked men and women in the stands. And somehow, they hadn't figured out that might happen when they signed up to have the game played at a nudist resort.

Maybe they didn't get the memo

With all that's been going on with the economy, foreclosure and unemployment. What the heck I wear on my JOB uniform, would be the least of my worries. I guess these folks didn't get the memo.



http://money.aol.com/news/articles/_a/bbdp/spirit-airlines-flight-attendants-upset/320624bbdp/spirit-airlines-flight-attendants-upset/320624

Spirit Air Staff Upset Over New Uniforms- Flight Attendants Say They're Being Turned Into 'Walking Billboards'

MIAMI (Jan. 28) — Flight attendants for Spirit Airlines are unhappy with a new uniform design that includes aprons displaying logos for alcoholic beverages.

The Association of Flight Attendants chapter at Spirit Airlines said Tuesday that the uniforms send the wrong signal to passengers and make it harder for flight attendants to enforce safety regulations. Deborah Crowley, president of Spirit's flight attendants union chapter, said in a statement that "turning flight attendants into walking billboards is unacceptable."

The union also said it found some of Spirit's advertisements to be sexist and demeaning.
In a statement provided to AOL, Spirit Air said that the onboard marketing program is key at a time where many airlines continue to trim capacity and cut jobs. The airline says the uniform ads:
* lower operating costs* allow the airline to continue offering low fares* keep employees employed * in no way interfere with the safety of passengers* in no way interfere with the ability of flight attendants to carry out their responsibilities

GET IT RIGHT!

Don't you hate it when people mix up the works in popular phrases in an attempt to make themselves sound smarter? We have e-mail evidence of our claim. For example:

1. "Don't make a mountain out of a MULE hill..."
2. "That is a MUTE point..."
3. "I'm enjoying the FRENCH benefits..."
4. "The organization is celebrating their CENTENERARY..." (Centenary)
5. "I have merchandise for SELL..." and "You know they say that sex SALES..."

--- OK, this sends me to the MOON. PLEASE learn when to use the word Sell v Sale.

Moving on to office tomfoolery:

Here's something totally confusing from an IT trainer in a corporation:

"...we strongly encourage you not to change this setting..." WHAT?

And one from the office manager:

"...please bring all of your outgoing mail to the 6th floor mailroom by 4:30 pm for posting and handling..." Huh? Where is she going to post it? She actually had the nerve to send that e-mail out twice this week!

We're Back!

After a five month sabbatical, Tales of the Unsavory is back with more true foolishness to share. We, the Unsavory Charlatans, are tortured by the shenanigans of people we are forced to deal with on daily basis. We refuse to believe that there are so many nimrods free to pollute the air with ridiculous comments and actions without any repercussions. Therefore, we will continue to expose these people for the idiots they are in an attempt to protect the innocent from the virus known as STUPIDITY!

Our work continues!
The Unsavory Charlatans