This fool here!!!!

It has been a mighty long time since the Unsavory Charlatans have made an appearance, however too much is happening now to look away. What in THE world was "this fool here" thinking when he had AN ICE CREAM CONE tattooed on his face!

I don't care what anyone says, not even his MOTHER loves this mess. On top of the fact that his name is "Gucci Mane" - for this act of pure stupidity, you sir are.....
COMPLETELY UNSAVORY!!!!

Religious Zealots

The unsavory charlatans are spiritual people. We don't attend service every week, but we do believe there is a higher power and His hand has a reach in our daily lives - for better or for worse. However, when we hear IDIOTS like Rush Limbaugh and and Pat Robertson spew the utter ridiculousness that came out of their mouths on Wednesday regarding Haiti - it gives us pause and reaffirms that not everyone or everything that proclaims to be Christian acts in Christ like ways!

Limbaugh said -"keep your wallet closed, because, 'We've already donated to Haiti. It's called the U.S. income tax."

Robertson said - "Haiti's pact with the Devil is to blame for the earthquake."

I want to know at what point in their Wednesday morning prayers did these two thing it was a good idea to share "this view" with the world. Mr. Limbaugh and Mr. Robertson - you two are BEYOND unsavory.

While no official count has been issued, it is estimated that tens of thousands have lost their lives. Many more are unaccounted for, including Unsavory Charlatan #1's choir director's mother. How a tragedy such as this, can be used for political and gain of fame is beyond me.

Thankfully, no one else from the crew from the LOL - Likes of Limbaugh have issued absurd statements but time will only tell.

The Unsavory Charlatans have contributed to Wylclef Jean's Yele Foundation to assist with the effort and hope that you have too.

And These People Have Real Jobs Part 3...

-----Original Message-----

Subject: Donut Sale!!!

NEWS!!! NEWS!!! AND MORE NEWS!!!

Great day XXXXXXXX:

We are taking advantage of every opportunity that present itself to continue building the Team. On Sunday, May 24, 2009 (yes Memorial Day weekend) we are requesting volunteers to help us sale donuts. The times we have schedule is 7:45am and 11:45am services.

Feel free to come and worship with them during their services as well. Please let me know if you are available to support the TEAM!!!

Thanks…

“ONE CAN CHASE A THOUSAND AND TWO PUT TEN THOUSAND TO FLIGHT”

And These People Have Real Jobs Part 2....

Great day XXXXXXXXXXX:

Can you all say Fundraiser? Yes, that right Fundraiser!!! Effective as of yesterday we have launched out to build the Track Team by selling the Brax Spirit Cups with all 32 NFL and 30 MLB teams along with 70 Colleges and 5 Military designs. Don’t miss the opportunity to be part of something growing there’s a time to build up and a time to tear down and we are going to build up for the Kingdom of GOD!!!

If you have not gotten your order form or forms, please don’t hesitate to see me at track practice. Thanking you in advance for your support in making this Fundraiser (Why is fundraiser always capitalized!?!?) a SUCCESS!!!

“MAKING A DIFFERENCE ONE TEAM AT A TIME”

And These People Have Real Jobs.....

RR NEWS!!! RR NEWS!!! RR NEWS REPORT!!!

Great day XXXXXXXXXXXXXX,

Due to the weather we had not been able to fully practice as much as we should. However, today seem to be a pretty good day to get back on the ball so there will be practice “TODAY” WEDENSDAY, MAY 6, 2009 AT 6:00PM – UNTIL 8:00PM!!! I would like to stress per my conversation with Coach Gunter that this season we will be competing with some strong and determine to win teams. And my all means we have that same determination but, we want you to encourage your Star Athletes that practice makes perfect and perfect leads to perfection. In saying all that the qualifiers will be coming up soon and we don’t want NO CHILD LEFT BEHIND!!!(ALL time favorite line!) Our motto will be “PUMP” as Pam would say which means in my terminology

P = Push
U = Until
M = Master
P = Perfection

Thanks for your cooperation and if you have any questions, please don’t hesitate to contact the Coaches or Board Members. Have a Productive Day!!!

The Octomom Costume Kit

HILARIOUS! I am concerned about Ernie lurking in the background...he looks like a pervert!

Friday Facebook Funnies!

1. Pot, please meet kettle!
A) why I have to deal wit a less then inteligent baby momma. Sorry but I calls it how I see it!?

2. What is this word?
B) is a smidget overwhelmed...just a smidget! whew...

3. Seriously?
C) Is reading Steve Harvey's best-seller...and learning soo much...we women really have no clue...lol....

4. Why?
D) Is out and about, holla if you need tickets for NC Fashion Week!

This IDIOT right here

How do you spell J-A-C-K-A-S-$!? Just ask your local Barista.....I guess he learned nothing from Plaxico Burress huh? ROTFLMAO!

Starbucks Barista Pops a Cap in His Leg

WASHINGTON -- A barista at the Starbucks in the 1600 block of U Street NW accidentally shot himself in the leg Tuesday afternoon. The employee was hospitalized with non-life-threatening injuries. He's facing an unlawful possession of a firearm charge.

The barista's motive for carrying the weapon to work is unknown.

Police are investigating.

This comes as Congress considers a voting rights bill with an amendment that would strip the District of most local gun-control laws. Whether passage of such a law would increase self-inflicted barista wounds or decriminalize the shooting of oneself in the leg remains to be seen.

I don't want nuggets, I want a refund!

The comedy of this story is out of this world. Please listen to the call. "She say she are the manager!" We can't make this stuff up!

Woman Calls 911 3 Times Over McNuggets
http://news.aol.com/article/911-mcnuggets-call/367995

FORT PIERCE, Fla. (March 3) - Authorities say a Florida woman called 911 three times after McDonald's employees told her they were out of McNuggets. A police report said 27-year-old Fort Pierce resident Latreasa L. Goodman told authorities she paid for a 10-piece last week but was later informed the restaurant had run out.

She says she was refused a refund and told all sales were final. A cashier told police she offered Goodman a larger portion of different food for the same price, but Goodman became irate. Police say Goodman was cited on a misuse of 911 charge. A current phone listing for Goodman couldn't be found.

A McDonald's spokesman says Goodman should have been given a refund, and she's being sent a gift card for a free meal.

Courtesy of TMZ.com- Listen to the calls - http://www.tmz.com/2009/03/03/mcnuggett-911-calls-the-unhappy-meal-drama

Parents just don't understand ???

Now my parents used to say on various occasions that they wanted to smack the crap out of me, lock me in my room or some other over exaggerated notion because I'd done something to piss them off. NEVER, did they appear to want to REALLY resort to violence. Apparently, this father in "B-MORE careful" must have had enough!!!! Sir - you are very UNSAVORY!!!!

___________

http://wjz.com/local/man.stabbing.church.2.942499.html

BALTIMORE (AP) - Police said a 58-year-old man stabbed his teenage son after he refused to take off his hat at church earlier in the day. The father and his 19-year-old son got into an argument on Sunday afternoon. That's when police said the father went to a car, got a knife and stabbed his son in the left buttock and fled. (I bet his azz will take that hat off next time, I know - sorry! LOL)

The son was taken to University of Maryland Medical Center for treatment. The father's name was withheld pending his arrest.

THE BEST EMAIL EVER

I received this email from someone trying to rent a house. This is the BEST email I have every received in my life!!! I SWEAR it is real! I had tears, real tears of laughter falling from my eyes and the sad thing about it there are people falling for this crap!


Hello Dear,

Thanks for the email and it is my gladness hearing from you.i am the owner of the house you are making enquiry of.Actually I resided in the house with my family,such as my wife and my only daugther before and presently we had packed due to my transfer from my working place and now situated in the (West Africa Nigeria) and presently my house is still available for rent ..including the utilities like hydro,washerand security,it is furnised but if u which to move in with your furnishes no problem.. i went for a Crusade in the West Africa .

Pls i want you to note that,i am a kind and honest man and also i spent alot on my property that i want to give you for rent,i will want you to take absolute maintenance of my house and want you to treat it as your own,i,it is not the money the main problem but i want you to keep it tidy all the time so that i will be glad to see it neat when i come for a check up.

SO IF YOU ARE REALY INTRESTED I WILL WANT YOU TO FILL THE RENTAPPLICATIONS FORMS BELOWRENT APPLICATION FORM

Also,Pls let me get this answer. FIRST NAME:__________________MIDDLE NAME: _________________LAST NAME: __________________PROFESSION: ________________
HOME PHONE (____) __________(CELL)PHONE (____) __________
(WORK)PHONE (____) __________
KIDS _____ (YES/NO), HOW MANY ________
PRESENT ADDRESS: _____________________CITY: _______________STATE: ______________ZIPCODE: ____________
HOW LONG DO YOU INTEND STAYING? ____________
WHEN DO YOU INTEND MOVING IN? ______________
HOW SOON CAN YOU HAVE THE DEPOSIT PAYMENT SENT TO ME _______________
HOW SOON DO YOU WANT TO RECEIVE THE KEYS AND DOCUMETS OF THE HOUSE___________________________
DO YOU HAVE A PET: _____________NAME OF PET: _____________
KIND OF PETS: _____________DO YOU SMOKE? ______________
DO YOU DRINK? ______________

Looking forward to hear from you with all this details so that i can have it in my file incase of issuing the receipt for you and contacting you.Await your urgent reply so that we can discuss on how to get the document and the key to you,Note that the keys and documents of my house is with me here in west africa.please we are giving you the house base on trust and again i will want you to stick to your words,you know that,we do not see yet and only putting everything into Gods hand,so please do notl et us down in this our property and God bless you more as you do this..

HOUSE INFORMATIONADDRESS:2132 Sun Valley Dr SE Marietta, GA 30067..This 4 bedroom, 2 bath home features a spacious remodeled interior, covered parking, and a large deck in the fenced backyard. New paint and refinished hardwood flooring. This home is served by Powers Ferry Elementary, East Cobb Middle, and Wheeler High Schools.
Bedrooms: 4
Bathrooms:2
Rent per month: $700
Deposit Req'd:700
Application Fee: $0
Parking: Reserved.
Available: Now
ADDRESS :2132 Sun Valley Dr SE Marietta, GA 30067
Pet policy: Ok
Smoking inside policy: no smoking
Lease terms: AS LONG AS YOU WHICH..
YOU CAN CONTACT ME ON +234-803-855-9566 Or 011-234-803-855-9566.

Thanks And God Bless You.

Pure Comedy

As a Charlatan, you are often privy to personal conversations. Well today, I had the most amusing conversation with one of my good friends about a certain female he knows. He summarized their earlier conversation and it went something like this:

Him: So how have you been?
Her: Fine, but I think I have depression. I've read this book and I have all the signs.
Him: Oh, well have you been to the doctor? After all, you're a lawyer.
Her: No, but I also have this condition where lack of sunshine causes a chemical imbalance.
Him: Umm, okay, so what are you going to do?
Her: Well, I have to buy this lamp that will replace the missing sunshine.
***Let's take a break here, how can anyone MISS sunshine, but I digress! LOL
Him: Umm, okay - and how much does that cost?
Her: about $300 a piece.

**** This is when I lost it. I couldn't take anymore - PURE COMEDY! Ma'am, are you sure it's the lack of sunshine that is causing the chemical imbalance? You, lady, and the self-diagnosis are UNSAVORY!

Part two---What does this UNSAVORY foolishness actually mean? I know there had to be a better way to word this statement.

"He has been consistently recruiting 500 executives, managers and technical professionals annually."

Who Knew?

If you are like the Unsavory Charlatans, you know plenty of people who work in some capacity for the Federal government. Well, imagine our suprise when we learned that for years, our friends and colleagues have been celebrating the WRONG holiday in February. For years, we have all enjoyed the "Presidents' Day Holiday" or the "Presidents' Day" sales, etc, and so on.
http://www.pocketdeal.com/deal-Macy's-President's-Day-Sale%5E7258.aspx

Yep, you've guessed it - FOR YEARS, YOU HAVE BEEN WRONG. Now the Unsavory Charlatans are left wondering - who's on first? According to the U.S. Code and the Office of Personnel Management in Washington, DC. The holiday was and still remains - George Washington's Birthday. You can now consider yourself informed. Stop indulging in those President's Day Sales and go chop down a cherry tree, for good ole' George!

http://www.opm.gov/Operating_Status_Schedules/fedhol/2009.asp

Monday, February 16* Washington’s Birthday

http://www.law.cornell.edu/uscode/5/6103.shtml
(a) The following are legal public holidays:
New Year’s Day, January 1.
Birthday of Martin Luther King, Jr., the third Monday in January.
Washington’s Birthday, the third Monday in February.

We don't make this stuff up

Saturn is missing some of its inhabitants. You can't make this stuff up! I wonder what gave away that this idea could be a PROBLEM!

Lingerie Bowl Canceled Over Nakedness

The Boss' halftime show is safe. Lingerie Bowl VI has been canceled because of a dispute between the organizers and the nudist colony that was going to host the event. The game, which was supposed to air as a pay-per-view event during halftime of the Super Bowl, was sure to siphon off dozens of fans from the game. But the nudist colony wouldn't promise that its fans wouldn't show up in the buff, so the organizers called off the game.

LOL! You gotta love the Superbowl.

The explanation for the cancellation doesn't make a whole lot of sense, and seems to indicate that the Lingerie Bowl was headed for financial disaster. The game had struggled to find a place to play, and the players had not been happy about playing at a nudist resort.Because of all that, the "league" said it had no choice but to call it quits.

"The league will not place our fans, players, staff nor partners in a less-than-comfortable environment that would ultimately jeopardize the mainstream perception and reputation of the brand that so many have worked diligently over these past five years to build," the league's Stephon McMillen said. So yes, the organizers of a football game played by women in bras and panties were worried that the integrity and wholesome family atmosphere of their game would be ruined by having naked men and women in the stands. And somehow, they hadn't figured out that might happen when they signed up to have the game played at a nudist resort.

Maybe they didn't get the memo

With all that's been going on with the economy, foreclosure and unemployment. What the heck I wear on my JOB uniform, would be the least of my worries. I guess these folks didn't get the memo.



http://money.aol.com/news/articles/_a/bbdp/spirit-airlines-flight-attendants-upset/320624bbdp/spirit-airlines-flight-attendants-upset/320624

Spirit Air Staff Upset Over New Uniforms- Flight Attendants Say They're Being Turned Into 'Walking Billboards'

MIAMI (Jan. 28) — Flight attendants for Spirit Airlines are unhappy with a new uniform design that includes aprons displaying logos for alcoholic beverages.

The Association of Flight Attendants chapter at Spirit Airlines said Tuesday that the uniforms send the wrong signal to passengers and make it harder for flight attendants to enforce safety regulations. Deborah Crowley, president of Spirit's flight attendants union chapter, said in a statement that "turning flight attendants into walking billboards is unacceptable."

The union also said it found some of Spirit's advertisements to be sexist and demeaning.
In a statement provided to AOL, Spirit Air said that the onboard marketing program is key at a time where many airlines continue to trim capacity and cut jobs. The airline says the uniform ads:
* lower operating costs* allow the airline to continue offering low fares* keep employees employed * in no way interfere with the safety of passengers* in no way interfere with the ability of flight attendants to carry out their responsibilities

GET IT RIGHT!

Don't you hate it when people mix up the works in popular phrases in an attempt to make themselves sound smarter? We have e-mail evidence of our claim. For example:

1. "Don't make a mountain out of a MULE hill..."
2. "That is a MUTE point..."
3. "I'm enjoying the FRENCH benefits..."
4. "The organization is celebrating their CENTENERARY..." (Centenary)
5. "I have merchandise for SELL..." and "You know they say that sex SALES..."

--- OK, this sends me to the MOON. PLEASE learn when to use the word Sell v Sale.

Moving on to office tomfoolery:

Here's something totally confusing from an IT trainer in a corporation:

"...we strongly encourage you not to change this setting..." WHAT?

And one from the office manager:

"...please bring all of your outgoing mail to the 6th floor mailroom by 4:30 pm for posting and handling..." Huh? Where is she going to post it? She actually had the nerve to send that e-mail out twice this week!

We're Back!

After a five month sabbatical, Tales of the Unsavory is back with more true foolishness to share. We, the Unsavory Charlatans, are tortured by the shenanigans of people we are forced to deal with on daily basis. We refuse to believe that there are so many nimrods free to pollute the air with ridiculous comments and actions without any repercussions. Therefore, we will continue to expose these people for the idiots they are in an attempt to protect the innocent from the virus known as STUPIDITY!

Our work continues!
The Unsavory Charlatans

GIMMIE MY ROOMBA!

Ok, so two of my aunts chipped in and purchased me a iRobot Roomba as a housewarming gift. Ask me where it is? They are holding ‘him’ hostage and I am FURIOUS...ok maybe not furious (LOL) I actually think it’s pretty funny. They both also purchased one for themselves. So now they keep torturing me with tales of how cool ‘he’ is and stories of how he backs himself out of corners and travel around the house all day on cleaning expeditions. So today, I found out that there is a website that sells costumes for your Roomba (http://www.myroombud.com/). I’m really pissed now! I dress up my cats and I will dress my iRobot too…if I ever get him! I WANT MY DAMN ROOMBA! LOL

We want to take this short commercial break to congratulate Carla Ramson, winner of the 2008-2009 Tales of the Unsavory Ms. Pimp USA contest!

The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
Friday, August 22, 2008

On this day, three was a crowd.

Until Sunday, 35-year-old Carla Ramson lived in an apartment in southwest Atlanta with two men she identified as her husband and live-in boyfriend, according to an Atlanta police report. Both men were arrested after they got into a fight at their apartment in the 2900 block of Third Avenue, possibly because one got jealous of the other.

The husband, Tracy Lee, 25, was arrested on charges of aggravated assault and battery, and he was released Tuesday from the Fulton County Jail on $25,000 bond.

The boyfriend, Michael Reed, 21, is facing two felony charges, including aggravated assault. He, too, got out of jail Thursday after posting $35,000 bond.

The incident happened at 11:30 a.m. Sunday.

Ramson told police that she and husband Lee were having sex in her bedroom, while Reed was sitting in the living room, the report said.

Apparently that didn't sit well with Reed. He got angry and demanded that Ramson and Lee let him in the bedroom, the report said. Reed somehow got into the bedroom and pushed Lee, the woman told police. Lee returned the favor, pushing Reed onto a table lamp, the report said. Reed then picked up a glass vase and hit Lee in the face, Lee told police. Lee retaliated by getting a knife and trying to stab Reed several times, Reed told police. When police arrived, Reed was taken to Grady Memorial Hospital for injuries, and both were eventually taken to jail.

When reached by phone Thursday afternoon, Ramson said that both men no longer lived there and she wasn't going to worry about it. But she said she couldn't talk because she had company over, and she asked a reporter to call her later.

She could not be reached later.

THE TECHNOLOGY TROLLS ARE BOTHERING US AGAIN

Email from Unsavory Charlatan: Hi everyone! Pictures of __________'s football game are attached. Enjoy!

Reply from family member: Please send me hard copies of the photos you sent of ______ this morning.

I am going to write my congressman. Why would I go and get you hard copies of pictures I EMAILED YOU. That point of me e-mailing it is so you would have it! GO MAKE YOUR OWN DAMN COPIES! THAT JUST MADE ME MAD, I'VE HAD IT!